Phone of Destiny
by LittleRoma
Summary: All the ways that Darcy Lewis could be connected to other 'verses
1. Chapter 1

Darcy hummed to herself as she prepared herself an omelette for breakfast, it had been a long night for the freshly minted person in charge of the P.R. for the Avengers. There had been a fight a week ago, it was another Doom attack and instead of the Fantastic Four being able to get the job done themselves, the Avengers had been called in. It was starting to get a little embarrassing, granted Darcy knew next to nothing about Doom and his policies but she did guess that he maybe had a crush on Sue Storm and on some level wanted to impress her.

Glancing up from the sizzling pan, she noticed as some of the rest of the Avengers walked in. She could see Jane was pretty much dragged in by Thor who for some wild reason didn't believe that she could start a full day of Science! without a proper and nutritious meal filling her stomach. Foolish man! Grabbing out a small knife she slid the omelette onto some extra plates and taking a plate herself, she sat at the island counter. Bypassing the coffee (which was something that had taken her entirely too much effort to break) she filled a glass with orange juice and took a deep drink closing her eyes to savour the sweet taste filling her taste buds.

Checking her phone, Darcy scowled as she noticed she had missed an important phone call. Well Darcy assumed it was important – it was from her childhood best friend. Dialling 121 she lifted the phone to her ear, eating her cooling omelette as she listed to her friends slurred voice.

The other Avengers all noticed when Darcy dropped her fork back down, as she continued to listen to the message. Darcy's shoulders began to shake with barely repressed mirth, tears beginning to gather in her eyes, she was pretty sure that her face was beginning to turn red from losing her breath due to her laughing fit.

Hanging up the phone, Darcy placed it down, while holding her breath trying to regain her composure – it didn't work her face just turned blue as she struggled to find her sense of dignity. Not looking at anyone, because she somehow knew that if she did, she would fall to pieces laughing.

Getting up to wash her plate off Darcy continued to shake her head while still giggling. Abruptly realising that she hadn't looked up in a while, Darcy looked only to meet a concerned Jane's gaze. "So what was that all about?"

"You remember my friend Felicity Smoak right? That was her, she was phenomenally drunk, I don't think I've heard her that drunk since college actually. Something must have really spooked her. If what she was telling me was the truth, then she lives in a really messed up city. I mean, I knew that where she lived was messed up, I didn't quite understand why she wouldn't just leave but damn is that a messed up life."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa slow down and explain." Jane died to make her friend begin to make a lick of sense.

"Well, I told you she lives in Starling City didn't I? She must have seen me acting as this lot P.R. person or something, because I think she informed that she lives in an even more crazy way. She knows at least three assassins by name, one by title. And she has tangled with some group called the League of Assassins. Oh and she works with a rich playboy, who fires arrows into people, a lady with a bo staff and a soldier. Oh and a man that that has the potential to – and in Felicity's words – fuck shit up – if he gets mad. Oh and something about the hot rich guy not ponying up with the red wine, which probably shouldn't be connected" Darcy laughed, looking for all the world completely confused.

"That is a lot of information to receive in thirty seconds" Bruce pinched his nose

"Yeah, well again I think she was drunk when she was trying to tell me, so I was mostly having to decipher what she was saying" Darcy attempted to explain.

Further down the table Clint and Natasha shared a worried look, they had heard whispers about a new vigilante operating within Starling City. The only reason they hadn't looked even further into this vigilante was the fact that Starling City fell squarely into A.R.G.U.S' very own back garden. Fury might have been very annoyed but he really didn't want to tangle with Amanda Waller, that lady was sneaky and she took being underhanded to a whole new level.

LINEBREAK

A few hours later and the work in the lab had quietened down a little, the scientists were all staying in their individual corners. Tony was working on yet _MORE_ upgrades to his suits. Privately Darcy wasn't sure how much more the individual suits could take, but Darcy would remind herself that she had a degree in Political Science not the whole engineering shebang that Tony held.

Darcy pulled out her phone checking the time and decided to put a call through to a Starling City. Scrolling through her contacts she found Felicity Smoak's number and hit dial lifting the phone to her ear. The other end rang three times before it was answered.

"Hello, Felicity Smoak's phone this is John Diggle speaking" she heard a mans deep voice greeting her from hundreds of miles away,

"Hello Mr Diggle, this is Felicity's friend Darcy Lewis calling. Is everything okay? It's just that I got a really weird voicemail from her earlier."

"Darcy Lewis? The P.R person for the Avengers? Yes, everything's fine, Felicity was drunk last night. Do you know what she said in her message to you?"

"Yes, that's me? She said that she knew three assassins, an extraordinarily strange team, including a man with a fixation on medieval weaponry, a lady with a staff, a soldier and a man with anger management problems."

The silence was beginning to get to Darcy who "Hello are you there? Did we get cut off?"

"No, no, I'm still here. Look I really don't know how to explain all of this, can I have Felicity ring you back when she feels better?"

"Yeah, no, that's fine. Just let her know I was asking for her" Darcy spoke before muttering "Does she live in either a comic book or a CW TV show or something?"


	2. Darcy Lewis Meets Hawaii Five-O

"OH MY EINSTEIN DARCY LEWIS, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT ISN'T IT?" Jane shrieked as she fell to the ground as soon as she stepped from the vehicle. Darcy watched with some amusement as her boss hugged the ground to her chest.

"Oi, Astrophysicist! The stars are up there, you aren't a geologist are you? You certainly look like you're getting familiar with the ground there, should I give you a moment?" Darcy tossed over her shoulder as she locked the beautiful American muscle car behind her. She had been well aware that she looked like a cross between a murdered and a complete Supernatural fan, but the 1967 Ford Chevy Impala had just called out to her.

Jane jumped up and began to chase after her young intern as she walked just past the large bronze/gold, just mostly deep black coloured statue. She had remembered that Darcy has told her the statue depicted Kamehameha, the King of Hawaii who founded the Kingdom of Hawaii. Darcy had told her some more of the history behind the statue, but Jane's head had been in the stars, as Darcy was so keen to remind her when Jane forgot to behave like a normal human being.

Darcy was walking through the large double doors before Jane caught up with her. As soon as the women walked through the doors, Jane took of her large sunglasses, marvelling all the while at the ornate surroundings. Jane wasn't sure if marble floorings, large oak staircase and gilt framed paintings depicted life in Hawaii through history. Feeling Darcy steering Jane over to the in front of the large metal detectors. Darcy passed over her handbag to put through the large scanners. Taking out her driving license she showing to the guy manning the computer while pointing towards the large wooden staircase.

Looking over her shoulder to make sure that Jane was following her, before she made way up the staircase. Once Jane had caught up with her, Darcy began to speak

"So, you know that I wasn't born a Lewis right? My name is actually Darcy McGarrett and I was born in Hawaii. My brother Steve McGarrett had a tremendous career in the Navy, he was a Navy SEAL for a few years, now he heads up the Hawaii Five-0 police department, where we're going right now. He works with Danny Williams, Lou Grover, both from the mainland and Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua. I want to introduce you to my big brother, be nice" Darcy went to open the doors before she stopped herself and turned back to Jane "Maybe don't mention that we live with the Avengers in New York, Steve will er have a cow." Stopping herself from opening the door once again "Maybe don't mention that we live in New York, Danny Williams is from the Big Apple originally, or he used to live in New Jersey and I really don't want to set him off."

"Okay, do they know we were in London for the Dark Elves attack?" Jane asked rolling her eyes at her friend.

"Steve knows that we spent some time in London, but I don't think he knows we were there for ground zero so to speak."

Jane looked bemused as her friend began to wring her hands out, something that Darcy had always noticed she did when she was getting nervous about something. Darcy rolled her shoulders and opened the door knowing she was about to face the music.

Following her friend down the tiled corridor with glass offices Jane noticed the large flags, one was the typical flag of America, the stars and stripes, while the other was what Darcy guessed was the flag of the state of Hawaii on it. Walking down through the offices until they got to large central bit, where large screens hung down from the ceiling and a large computer type table. Privately Jane thought that the room reminded her off one of Tony Stark's, and therefore the Avengers, tidier control rooms. Jumping a little when Darcy let out a squeal and ran towards the tall, brunette man in the centre who picked her up and twirled her round. "STEVIE!"

"Woah, woah, I'm sorry but who is this Stevie you're talking about? I don't see a Stevie here, do you Lou?" the man who Jane thought was Danny began to speak needling Steve.

"Oh shut up man! Can't you see that they're simply catching up. Hi, I'm Lou Grover and the mook over there is Detective Danny Williams. I'm guess you're Dr Jane Foster, right?" Lou was smiling down at Jane as she watched Darcy and her brother Steve's cheerful if slightly enthusiastic reunion.

"Hi, call me Jane, I'm Darcy's, well its complicated to explain, I guess I'm her best friend and boss." Jane itched at the back of her neck awkwardly trying to remember what she couldn't tell these people.

Darcy stepped back from Steve and heard the last thing Jane had said "This is Jane my sister from another mister. She's you know the doctor I was telling you about? The astrophysicist I did my internship with, must be ooh three or four years ago now, right?"

"Yeah, about that time. I can't tell you how thankful I am that Darcy Lewis applied for my internship out in the desert, though I was a little confused when you first applied." Jane laughed.

"Yeah, well I had an option between choosing to stay for another year in California at university doing another year with an overly handsy biology professor and a really bad situation with a wannabe boyfriend. I needed six science, hard science, the proper sciences I mean, to graduate. So I took an internship with an astrophysicist figuring that it would get me away for long enough until I could get my head screwed on properly. It didn't take me long to figure out that Jane here was like a human hamster and is pretty much terrible at remembering that she is human at time."

"I'm not _THAT_ bad" Jane tried to protest.

"Jane, you think pop tarts are a food group all on their own. I like them occasionally but you seem to think you can eat them all day every day. It's just not healthy. Things happened that I do _not_ want to talk about under any circumstances, things that will probably scar me forever."

The two women started to squabble, not noticing as the group they are in front of exchange mildly amused glances. Jane's stomach begins to growl dangerously. Eventually though Jane quiets down realising that they perhaps have an audience, an audience that they really didn't want to have.

"Look, whatever I just know that I am never getting into a car with you again. You drove the Pinzgauer for months with no bother but the minute you get into a normal car, you drive like a maniac. What the hell is the matter with you? I'm not –" here Darcy could only guess what the woman was going to say so she dived for the small woman and covered her mouth but Steve could really begin to freak out.

"Well, I didn't want to crash the Pinzgauer, that was expensive and would cost me too much to repair, that would really eat into my already meagre salary, it's – eugh did you just lick me?" Darcy lifted her hand away from where she had clasped it around Jane's mouth and with a scowl she began to wipe it off on her jeans.

"Well, who the hell taught you to drive like that? We weren't doing an urban assault escape thing driving like a maniac" Jane's voice began getting more and more high pitched towards the end.

Steve sheepishly raised a hand "That would uh be my fault Dr Foster. Sorry about that. Nice drive Darce?"

"Oh yeah, we got a 1967 Chevy Impala, it's the fangirl in me, now who out there drives the beautiful mustang?" Darcy continued before groaning "And the motorcycle? Oh how much trouble would I be in if I just took it for a ride?"

"The motorbike would be mine. And you'd be in for world of trouble if you take that out young lady, I remember your father commiserated the fact that you were a speed junkie." Chin mock reprimanded Darcy.

"The mustang is mine and if you drive anything like this animal over here" Danny pointed at Steve "the way _he_ drives my baby there is no way in hell you'll ever get back the wheel of that car."

Darcy held up her hands in mock surrender "Woah, bit of aggro there."

"It's not my fault your brother drives like a bloody Neanderthal. I swear to God, every time I get in a car with him I'm wondering did I tell Gracie that I love her?" Danny tried to calmly point out.

"Excuse me? I am a perfectly safe driver okay? I've never once crashed have I?"

"It's my car, usually the person who drives the car get to OH YEAH DRIVE THE DAMN THING. And for the love of all that is good and right in this world would you FOR PETE'S SAKE STOP LEAVING GRENADES IN MY CAR?"

The two continued to bicker as Darcy glanced over as Chin who was trying to muffle some of his snickers with his hand. "They always like this"

"Oh yeah, these never shut up, about anything, ever since I got here. Has anyone tried shutting them in a room yet?" Lou cut in as the group turned to observe Dnny and Steve beginning to bicker.

"Yeah, we tried it. But Steve jumped out the window –"

"It was a room on the second story, damn my eardrums are still ringing from day" Kono finished

Darcy began to shake her head at her brother's actions, was this typical behaviour coming from one of the McGarrett men? To nettle and bicker constantly with their partner. Whatever, she was just glad that she didn't have to live with them constantly doing this.

Unnoticed Jane began looking at her phone, "Oh, oh Darcy, we'd better get going I really want to see the stars tonight. The views should be spectacular tonight" Jane started turning round mumbling "I'm going to need to take some readings tonight, it might be another all-nighter."

Darcy laughed "alright we'll see you guys tomorrow or so okay?" turning round she followed her boss from the room thinking that Jane reminded her of a toddler, she could be very easily distracted.


	3. Darcy's deep and abiding love for bacon

"Hello Darcy Lewis here" Darcy picked up the phone without checking the caller ID, as she tucked into a good bacon buttie. Say what you want but LIVING in the UK had taught about the proper way to present bacon (streaky bacon no just no) and how to make up the proper bacon buttie.

"It's your father young lady and I can't believe you what were you thinking to have to learn what you have been doing with your life over the past few years thanks to your mother, no just no that should never have happened".

Darcy blinked at her phone, her normally stoic and taciturn father was really worked up, Tammy 2 must have said something to him "I'm sorry Dad but not all of us believe that the government are an evil, organisation hellbent on destroying us all, I mean we aren't all Republicans"

"You have went against all of my values young lady, I did not raise you to be like this. Where did you pick up ideas like this?"

Darcy cleared her throat a few times trying to push out excuses before she finally whispered "listen Daddy, I just think that government is fascinating and studying political science was very interesting. And besides I've found out a few things that are very interesting"

Ron replied his voice raising "where did I go wrong with you. Have you been talking to Leslie Knope or Chris Traeger? Did they influence your decision? I knew I shouldn't have let anyone from work know about you. I knew I should have moved you that wood workshop, you could been my little wood working elf" he was really starting to get himself worked up, Darcy was surprised the man could even talk that much.

"No, they didn't influence me, but hey you should hear the things I've heard about bacon now. Dad, streaky bacon isn't that great. I'm sorry but it isn't. Try back bacon. Mmm fried in a pan and in some bread with just a hint of brown sauce covering it. It's the ultimate in hangover food. I tried some in London and it's so good".

Listening to Dad until he ran out of steam had been easily the highlight of Darcy's year. At least until he rang two weeks later

"Hello, Darcy Lewis here"

"Oh my God darling you were right back bacon is where it's at. Tom agrees with me. Little twerp jumped me right when I was frying it, I may have to move homes now in case he shares where I live." Darcy had to raise an eyebrow when she heard the dial tone signalling that her father had hung up, still muttering about bacon.


End file.
